Compounding the couple's despair, is the societal stigma that accompanies infertility. The couple may feel "defective" and the inability to fulfill the role of parenthood may be regarded as a personal failure. And while the couple grapples with these unpleasant feelings the woman's biological clock continues to tick adding time pressure to their list of stressors.
Researchers have verified that infertility does cause stress. Comar (1992) reported that infertile women experience twice the level of depression when compared to their fertile counterparts. And this elevated stress does compromise reproduction. Facchinetti (1997) documented that the higher a woman's vulnerability to stress the lower her pregnancy rates. Sharma and Sharma (1992) documented double the pregnancy rates in women who took anti-anxiety pills.
Domar, a researcher who works at the Mind and Body Institute in Boston which is associated with Harvard Medical School proposes a model that explains the deleterious effects of stress on the reproductive functions. This model was published in The Wellness Book (1992) by Herbert Benson.
Cycle of Despair
No Conception / Menses
which leads to:
tubal spasm / irregular ovulation / decreased sperm production
which leads to:
frustration / anger / isolation / depression
which leads to:
emotional tension / stress
which leads to:
No Conception / Menses
Adapted from: A. Domar in The Wellness Book. by H. Benson, 1992
To break this cycle, the emotional tension must be addressed. One intuitively knows that the mind (psyche or soul) can influence physiological responses. Just think of the emotion of fear. When one feels fear, there are distinct bodily symptoms such as dry mouth, pounding heart sweaty palms, etc. that accompany this emotional feeling. Perhaps, techniques available for stress reduction could reverse the emotional stress of infertility.
Benson (1992) contends that stress and relaxation can not co-exist. Several research studies have documented the positive effect of relaxation in other fields. Stuart (1987) used relaxation to help patients reduce blood pressure without medication. Mandle (1990) documented less pain medication use and a decrease in anxiety by hospital patients who listened to a relaxation tape. Goodale (1990) was able to document decreased premenstrual symptoms in women who practiced relaxation techniques. And lastly Domar (1992) cited double the pregnancy rates for In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) patients who practiced relaxation coping techniques.
The tools for practicing relaxation are so varied, there is something for everyone. The ideas suggested below are activities that enhance relaxation. Enjoying one or more of these activities diminishes the negative effects of infertility induced stress.
Stress and relaxation can not co exist!
Everyone has a different way of reducing stress. The following are some things which can help a great deal. Try some of these techniques during your treatment:

Vacations, Music, Sports, Visualization, Humor, Hobbies, Friends, and Prayer and Meditation
Don't forget the value of a good friend. A friend to lend a sympathetic ear can raise one's spirits and decrease the sense of isolation. Consider friends and relatives as prospective confidantes and share the sadness of infertility's elusive goal. It is natural to resist burdening a friend with personal problems. But try reversing the situation. Wouldn't it be an honor and privilege to have a friend share a problem with you? The opportunity to help ease a friend's burden is gratifying and also an expression of the friend's high esteem for you. Give your friend the same compliment. The stress of infertility can be minimized with conscious effort to honor your emotions and utilization of techniques to counteract the effects of infertility's despair. Use of a variety of relaxation methods will restore a sense of control, decrease the sense of isolation, restore optimism and may help increase the chance of pregnancy.

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